Tough choices
by Fenrees
Summary: Set right after the season 4 finale. The team finds and rescues Sam and Deeks. Kensi and Deeks never got to talk about the kiss. Will the capture and torture affect their feelings for each other for better, or for worse?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Light in the dark**

The lights were flickering rapidly, almost matching the chaos of her unsteady breathing and racing thoughts. The panting after storming the building, holding it while shooting their way in. The gasp when they found Sam, and the "punch" to the stomach when Sam said Deeks was dead.

She couldn't breathe when she saw him, through the shattered glassdoors, in the next room. Callen remained at Sam's side, starting to untie him as Kensi bolted to Deeks, pieces of glass cracking under her feet.

Still tied to a chair, lying on his side on the floor, Deeks had bloodstains all over his torso. His green jacket looked weirdly miscoloured but the white t-shirt beneath showed a horrific contrast to the red stains. To separate pools of blood were forming on the floor next to him, one next to his mouth, the other by his abdomen where she fell to her knees. The lights suddenly went but she could still make out the form of her partner in the dark. She felt her way up to his throat and placed her index and middle finger on his neck.

She thought she felt a pulse, but her own was racing so rapidly she wasn't sure if it was her own body, playing a trick on her. No, there it was again, it was weak but he definitely had a pulse.

- HE'S ALIVE! She yelled, already prying him loose from the chair.

-"We got lights!" a member of the SWAT team yelled as the lights flickered back again.


	2. Holding hands in the dark

Thanks for the review! I know the first chapter was a bit short, but it was just to se if People was interested and liked it:) Hope you like this one!:)

**Chapter 2: Holding hands in the dark**

- HE'S ALIVE! She yelled, already prying him loose from the chair.

-"We got light!" a member of the SWAT team yelled as the lights flickered back again.

-THEY..! Sam tried to yell but it resulted in a harsh coughing fit, forcing him to remain seated even though he now was freed from it.

-You ok? Callen looked at Sam, wanting to make sure his own partner was fine before he left to help Kensi.

Sam grabbed Callens arm, grunting something about Deeks, but it was too weak for G to make sense of. He steadied Sams big figure in the chair, just as Kensis cracked voice came from behind him.

-"Deeks been SHOT!"

Sam rolled his eyes, confirming this was the message he was trying to get through, before clumsily shoving G towards their remaining team members on the floor.

Within a few steps Callen was at Kensis side, helping her removing the chair so they together could slowly lower Deeks on his back. He unzipped the unconcius mans jacket, cursing under his breath as he saw the small steady stream of blood coming from a bulletwound in the lower abdomen. He could hear Blye wincing at the sight as he flung his head around yelling

–"Where the hell is the medical team with the ambulance?!"

- "E. T. A is two minutes!" the same S.W.A.T guy that fixed the lights announced.

-"He's bleeding heavily from his mouth, I need to tilt his head so he doesn't drown in his own blood." Kensi tried to remain calm, but she could hear her own voice trembling, mentally cursing herself for not saying something, anything! when those same bloodstained lips had kissed her, just a few hours earlier.

-"We're gonna get him to a hospital, he's going to be okay" Callen tries to reassure her, but didn't even believe it himself.

He mistook her concern for the same worry he'd felt for his own partner, until he saw Sam sitting, awake and communicating with them. No matter how relieved he was to se Hanna alive, they were a team, and the team wheren't out of the woods until they all could go home. Callen ripped of his own jacket, pressing it against the bullet wound, trying to lessen the bleeding. The pain of the pressure forced Deeks back in the land of the living, as he groaned heavily and his eyes started to flutter open.

-"Deeks!" Kensi blurted out smiling excitedly, a tear forced its way down her cheek.

Deeks moaned loudly and arched his back as if trying to get away from the pain, still not completely aware of his surroundings. But the movement only made the pain worse. His gut felt like it was shredded, his chest burning and his jaw…He wasn't even sure all of his face was still there.

But the exploding pain when someone caressed his face told him otherwise. Unable to speak he screamed with his mouth shut, and thrashed to get away from it.

-Oh, Deeks I'm so sorry! A regretting familiar voice said in the distance.

_Is that Kensi?_ Deeks tried to focus as more familiar voices could be heard. Someone, no, Sam said something about a drill? _Oh god, _Deeks groaned as he started to remember where he was and what had happened. _Kensi shouldn't be here? _He tried to focus his vision.

-"Sam, you're not okay you should be sitting down!" Callen ordered over his shoulder. Agent Hanna had managed to stagger across the room, leaning heavily on the doorframe, and had just told them about the torture Sidorov had put them through,

Kensi was trying to hold Deeks head still, when he suddenly was able to focus his gaze, and his eyes met hers.

-"Hey you, the ambulance is almost here, you're gonna be okay!" She rambled, panicked but still smiling at him.

He couldn't turn away from her, her beautiful, familiar mismatched eyes was keeping him from falling into the dark. He wanted to make a joke, loosen up the mood, not standing the terrified look in her face. But trying to tell "Fern" it was going to be okay, only resulted in some guttural noises, followed by a slow moan from the pain. Kensi grabbed his hand, and Deeks clenched on to it, staring at her, unable to speak, unable to tell her he was falling.

-"Hold on there Deeks, stay with us." Callen said calmly, as he heard the paramedics entering the room.

The overwhelming taste of iron, and fluids in his mouth that started to block his airway and the ground beneath him was gone, sending him spinning downwards. His throat reacted, the disgusting flavour was making him gag. And the sensation of spinning out of control forced him to be sick. The unbearable pain of his body convulsing and throwing upp, sent him into silent darkness. The pain was reduced to a throbbing in the distance. He never felt the medical team working on him, intubating him, lifting him and carrying him out of there. The only thing he knew for sure was she never let go. He gripped her hand tighter.

-"You promised…." Kensi started to cry silently when she felt him clenching his hand around hers, still holding on to life.


End file.
